OUR blogger Melanie O'Neill has two children and was diagnosed with inflammatory breast cancer more than nine years ago.

Here she shares her latest thoughts on living with cancer.

Is this my demise I wonder, as the 9 1/2 years of chemo finally takes its toll?

Overcome with tiredness, an ulcerated tongue along with insomnia and peripheral, blurred vision all came at once as I lay awake at night repeatedly going over the conversation I would have with my oncologist asking him for a break in my weekly treatment.

The day of my appointment with him arrived as I worked myself up feeling nauseous creating many scenarios of how the conversation would go.

After discussing how I could negotiate a cheaper price for my Herceptin, he recommended I take a break in my treatment regime after having 12 weekly doses and how this was the norm. It felt like Christmas had come early as he suggested a five-week rest from all treatment and to start again on November 20.

Being used to having the odd day of fatigue here and there I was completely floored at what was to follow.

During the previous week I struggled to get out of bed but now I was taking a break things would start to improve right? Wrong!

My insomnia became worse, the mouth ulcers became more painful as I had to resign myself to allowing the kids to take Stanley for a walk as I barely had the energy to put one foot in front of the other.

My emotions ran high through lack of sleep as I succumbed to taking sleeping tablets worrying about my future and if these feelings would ever pass?

Another week of exhaustion passed having taken a sleeping tablet every night as each day I curled up on the couch with Stanley, binge watching Netflix not being bothered to get myself a drink or snack whilst dosing in and out of sleep.

Upsetting feelings from being a burden to those around me, to just existing in a Ground Hog Day kind of way and although I’ll never give up, I questioned my point in still being here.

Not knowing what my purpose is anymore I’ve become drawn to writing and making small video clips, putting them on social media, to help others in a similar situation not feel so alone. However I could barely be bothered to lift a cup never mind write a blog or chat to anyone.

And then a couple of days ago I found a small amount of energy to do some clothes washing and the following day I found some more to walk Stanley with everyday feeling that little bit closer to being more like myself.

Realising I had weened myself off a drug used for nerve pain in my swollen arm without a doctor's guidance about two weeks ago was more than likely contributing to my symptoms, I feel the worst is over and although I’m not there yet, I am on the mend with the additional bonus of having three weeks left off chemo.

I know how lucky I am having one daughter who loves to cook and another who’ll do any chore I ask her to especially while hubby works long days and late nights. My family and friends surround me with love too so I know there are far worse people off then me and to count my blessings as each day I pick up making the most of the times when I do have energy.

Thanking Netflix for many episodes of Good Girls instead of addictively playing mindless Candy Crush over and over…although I have become a master at Scrabble.

Mel is currently fundraising for Herceptin, a drug which has given her dramatic results.

The NHS won't fund it anymore as she has had it more than twice.  It costs £1,178 every three weeks.

A go fund me page has been set up. For more details click here