THE victim of Jonathan Holmes has spoken of how she has suffered over the years since he abused her.

Holmes was jailed for six years after he was found guilty of molesting the schoolgirl 30-years-ago in Rainhill. The 50-year-old from Bathgate Way, Tower Hill, Kirkby, had denied the charges but was convicted by a jury of four offences of indecently assaulting the girl when she was aged between 12 and 15.

The woman, now in her mid 30s, cannot legally be named. She spoke of how the abuse has had a shattering impact on almost every aspect of her life.

In a statement read out in court during Holmes’ trial she said: “I have had to live with the memory of what happened to me every day of my life and I have no idea what sort of person I would have been had this not happened to me.

“As a child I became withdrawn. I suffer with low-self esteem and have no confidence whatsoever, I believe that I am not worthy of love or true friendship as I was told repeatedly over a number of years by my abuser that I would never be listened to and that everybody thought I was trouble.

“As an adult I am extremely anxious and nervous. I have difficulty trusting people and regularly have panic attacks which impacts greatly on my social and working life as I do not like to meet new people and I fear being judged.

“As a result of this I rarely go out socially and sometimes even have difficulty with everyday life such as going to the shops or taking my daughter to school.

“Sometimes I can’t leave the house and will completely isolate myself from friends and family. My husband and close family are the only people I trust. I have difficulty speaking to men and will avoid them at all costs.

“I have suffered from depression most of my life and have accepted that this will always be with me. I know the depression and anxiety comes from the impact of the abuse.

“As a mother I try to be a positive role model for my children but I am aware that my issues could impact on their emotional welfare in the future.

“I long to feel like a ‘normal’ person and I continue to grieve for the person I could have been.”